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A war for my soul:
My father having recently become aware that yes, he too is made of the same stuff as us lesser mortals is theatrically making a big deal about it and making these baseless assumptions about how if he has health problems too that must mean he must therefore also be dying and so he is redoubling his efforts to control my every waking moment... telling me what he feels I should like and think and what it is I should want to go be doing even more than he ever has before. I'm not a carbon copy of him and so... this doesn't work. It does get "in my head" and rattle me though while I am attempting to do things. Which is probably why he does it. W
Irrational guilt trips:
My father is good at these.
One that strikes me as particularly odd is a financial one he does where he throws at me that because I am such a horrible human being for having supposedly cost him so very much money to raise that any and all earnings I make if and when I work from paychecks somehow ought to all go to him.
My mother has always been of the opinion that there should be a feeling of accomplishment you get from the tasks you complete and achievements you receive on your own from the sweat, physical and mental toil of one's own brow. Dad would tell me that everything which I do manage should only be through his grace of allowing it
Programming:
I do not know as much as I would like to about computer programming. The way I would think of computer languages then is as methods of arranging tasks. You order the small steps in a particular sequence with special formatting to have the machine go through a more complex process in an organized way. :hmm:
Apologies for having been neither on nor in much:
[I] have been working on my senior research project and fighting with depression issue crud.
:reading:
What's up?
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Comments36
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You know what Luke...fuck them if they do get offended. The question is...if I did all these things could you give me the time of day, a date, a lay, physical contact, and more importantly Do I want to change myself to please some potential date, if they are going to start with appearance, surely it won't stop there... how long before they are telling me which manner to think is sexier. You make a good point about turning the focus on them and offering them the same line of critique. I've done it before, it doesn't go over well, which of course means it was successful from my side of things. Girls telling me...You need to eat, and I retort yeah It would probably be helpful to you, if I were to eat half of everything on YOUR plate maybe. I think you'd look better with a beard! Oh really I think I look fine you on the other hand need to wax, bleach...shave that mustache of yours and while your at it...hit that monobrow too. You should dress up more often because it looks blahblahblah.... well I would but I'd feel out of place because you always dress like a sloppy whore, I'd hate for people to think I just picked you up on the corner....