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A.) I'm not in a financially secure enough position to provide them with what I feel to be an adequate quality of life with good potential for opportunities, yet.
B.) I've got ADHD and Aspergers (not self-diagnosed but pro-diagnosed back when I was still a *ugh, how I loathe this phrase* tween), and depending on what pre-existing health and/or mental conditions the would be mother would also be bringing to the table/equation, that isn't something to take lightly when considering what life for your hypothetical as of yet would-be unborn children would be like, or fair stuff for them to have to deal with. Hey, they didn't ask to be born with special needs you arsehole!
C.) Having to be responsible for the well being of someone else is a big responsibility and I don't feel like while I am still working on establishing my own I'd be able to have the clarity of judgment to be a good parent necessarily.
B.) I've got ADHD and Aspergers (not self-diagnosed but pro-diagnosed back when I was still a *ugh, how I loathe this phrase* tween), and depending on what pre-existing health and/or mental conditions the would be mother would also be bringing to the table/equation, that isn't something to take lightly when considering what life for your hypothetical as of yet would-be unborn children would be like, or fair stuff for them to have to deal with. Hey, they didn't ask to be born with special needs you arsehole!
C.) Having to be responsible for the well being of someone else is a big responsibility and I don't feel like while I am still working on establishing my own I'd be able to have the clarity of judgment to be a good parent necessarily.
A war for my soul:
My father having recently become aware that yes, he too is made of the same stuff as us lesser mortals is theatrically making a big deal about it and making these baseless assumptions about how if he has health problems too that must mean he must therefore also be dying and so he is redoubling his efforts to control my every waking moment... telling me what he feels I should like and think and what it is I should want to go be doing even more than he ever has before. I'm not a carbon copy of him and so... this doesn't work. It does get "in my head" and rattle me though while I am attempting to do things. Which is probably why he does it. W
Irrational guilt trips:
My father is good at these.
One that strikes me as particularly odd is a financial one he does where he throws at me that because I am such a horrible human being for having supposedly cost him so very much money to raise that any and all earnings I make if and when I work from paychecks somehow ought to all go to him.
My mother has always been of the opinion that there should be a feeling of accomplishment you get from the tasks you complete and achievements you receive on your own from the sweat, physical and mental toil of one's own brow. Dad would tell me that everything which I do manage should only be through his grace of allowing it
Programming:
I do not know as much as I would like to about computer programming. The way I would think of computer languages then is as methods of arranging tasks. You order the small steps in a particular sequence with special formatting to have the machine go through a more complex process in an organized way. :hmm:
Apologies for having been neither on nor in much:
[I] have been working on my senior research project and fighting with depression issue crud.
:reading:
What's up?
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Yeah, thinking about it is good. Take your time.